Week 1: What you SAY matters to me
This week is all about engaging in active listening. Talk to your daughter, ask her questions, and then work hard to practice active listening, being warm and responsive to what she says.
Here is a short video on active listening: https://youtu.be/z_-rNd7h6z8
How else can you show your daughter this week that what she says matters to you?
Week 2: What you NEED matters to me
This week is all about meeting her needs. Some of her needs are things she expresses, and some of them are things that you know as her father. Work on meeting needs like:
- physical (food, clothing, sleep)
- family time
Which of these needs (or others) do you know deep down you haven’t been meeting?
What is one thing you can do this week to start moving that in the right direction?
Week 3: WHO YOU ARE matters to me
This week is all about worth and identity. The goal here is to show your daughter that you love her for exactly who she is… that there is nothing she can ever do to earn your love or to lose your love. Your love isn’t based on anything that she does, but rather on the intrinsic worth that she has as a human being.
Plan something special to say the words your daughter needs to hear. She needs to hear these things from you often, but creating a special moment is a good place to start. You can create a special moment by going to a special place (the beach at sunset), cooking or ordering in a special meal, or dressing up and presenting her with a small gift. Make it a quiet, private time without interruption from others.
Write words from your heart and speak then into your daughter’s eyes. This might be uncomfortable for you, but stay with it. Your daughter’s heart is worth it!
To get you started, here are some identity shaping truths daughters need to hear from their dads:
You are beautiful – inside and out.
I love you and I always will.
You are special to me, and you have been since you were born.
I believe in you.
I will always be here for you.